Pangea

(From left to right) Ryan Oleary, Jared Byrne, Foreigner)


Pangea: "All the Earth" A term used to describe the earth's land masses being attached to one another, making one large continent, over 200 million years ago. This term is apart of the continental drift theory, it is also apart of my makeup evidently. I was given the title "pangea" in college due to my incredible knack of tricking people into believing I am from various ethnicities and continents.

The majority of the misleading started in high school, when girls that I knew well assumed that I was Puerto Rican, "or at least some kind of Hispanic." Also, a Filipina (just came to the U.S. only a year earlier) thought e. and i were siblings. She thought i was full blown flip!! Then in college it grew in to that of legends. I was teaching COLLEGE students about diversity and was talking on how it was wrong to assume. I asked them to name what they thought my ethnicity was (maybe thinking they would say something else but also assuming they were just going to shout out, "White"), their answers in order: Hispanic, Asian, Puerto Rican, Italian, Russian, I stopped them and revealed that I was an exotic and very rare English/German mix. people were shocked to know that i came from very white parents- needless to say I got my point across.

later that week my roomate's family was in town, about ten of them. we were all in our living room and that college teaching story came up. my roomate (ryan) asked his family to guess what ethnicity i was...mexican, central american, arminian, eastern european. once again we had to stop, i couldn't take going around the entire circle, i might laugh to death.

so there i am, at an african american church. i have been counseling this kid for months. a wonderful relationship, good working alliance. we get on the topic of race. i ask him how he feels about me being white in the middle of an all black environment- his counselor none the less. i would love to quote it for you, but for confidentiality purposes i will summarize. "hold up- you white!?!?" The ENTIRE time i have been COUNSELING this kid, he has thought i was african american with a "small amount of white" in me! Now, in middle school someone thought i was mixed, but not straight african american.

it amazes me that when i walk around, assuming that everyone sees me as i am, white, that it really isn't the case. while some (maybe the majority) do think i am white- those are not the ones that i end up meeting. It makes me think of how people perceive me when they first set eyes on me. I have really grown to embrace the pangea that i am. there are even times when I feel robbed when i can't sign up for minority scholarships. While i might feel a loss when it comes to lighter stuff like that, i think its ironic that God has put within me a heart that beats for diversity, unity within the church- a pangeic church if you will. Oh God, You and Your sense of humor.

Question of the Day: Did you think i was anything other than caucasian the first time you saw me?

man's weakness

The last day or two I have been dealing with the fragility of man and the hopelessness that comes with it. I am still so amazed to see an intelligent, strong, grown man be brought to his weak knees by disease, destruction, and time. To be in such a condition that no pill or expensive technology can help- to know there is no other way- is hard.

At a time such as this, uncurable disease, irreversible trauma, and unstoppable time seems foreign. We can take a pill to make us feel better in so many ways (i.e. tylenol, zoloft, viagra). We can turn back the clock with creams and injectibles. But yet everyone succumbs to something that becomes more powerful than themselves at some point. No matter how healthy or how wealthy, we all will find ourselves in a situation where no one on earth can help. sinner or saint/sinner.

Mortality wins out everytime.

We grow muscle for it to turn to mush. We train our minds for them to be lost. This past year I have seen my grandmother take her last gasp of air, her body unable to work. I saw cancer ravage the body of a man and kill him in 6 months. I have come into contact with hurting friends who grieve over the drowning of a strong and good man, overtaken by waves. I have learned this past week of the Kever's friend who lost his life to cancer. A young pilot/outdoor adventurer one year, and the next, a sickly man unable to communicate with others. Death can be so harsh, so punishing, so impersonal.

C.S. Lewis was right when he wrote that upon gaining evidence for a supreme being- the intial evidence (general revelation) points to a God of wonder and beauty, but not necessarily to a God of love. Illogical, outrageous and horrifiic events happen every minute of every day to unsuspecting and innocent people. Death's sting is felt by everyone who lives any length of time on this earth. When life starts to make sense, something is bound to throw off your worldview. It is only by God's Word and incarnate sacrifice that we have assurance of Him being one of perfection, love, forgiveness, and grace.

The Bible calls man's life "not his own", one like a breeze that comes and goes. "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of the Lord stands forever." Its in the moments of reflection of life that I start asking questions. I wonder why we don't talk about death more often, especially as Christians. I know, like this entry, it's depressing. But, is death not as normal as birth? The interesting thing is that it is the most natural thing we do as a creation, yet, it is also the most unnatural thing we can do as humans made in the image of God. Honestly, we were not made to die. Adam failed and the human race fell. Through that man sin entered the picture and brought with it the consequence of it, death's sting. We were not made for the abrupt disconnect that death brings- no matter how temporal the time lapse between life and heaven! The most unnatural and natural thing. That's why we go around pretending its not there, even when we are told that "to live is Christ and to die is gain"? That's why some will write this entry off because it's too morbid, too emotional, too depressing, too real.

I understand that I probably go too far with this, but I guess I feel that not only do we have to live a life that appreciates eternity, but we also have to live one in light of mortality. It makes us love a little deeper, hug our spouse a little longer, love a little wider. It makes us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for it is only Christ who is worthy, willing, and capable of keeping His wonderful promises that defeat death and bring new life.